Our Church’s No "They" Policy
My first sermon series at Trinity Wellsprings Church was entitled “Pillars of Ministry”, a seven-week window into several themes that I hoped would define my pastoral leadership at my new church home:
The Simple Biblical Gospel: What is our foundation?
Prayer: How do we connect with God?
Servant Leadership: How shall we lead?
Discipleship: What is the goal of the Christian life?
Community: Who are we?
Mission: What is the point of community?
The Word of God: What is our authority?
You might notice that attention was paid to the question: “How shall we lead?” as I recognized TWC needed to adopt a new leadership culture for our church to thrive.
During my first few months at Trinity, one building block that I sought to lay within the heart of our leadership culture was what I called TWC’s No “They” Policy (which I informally instituted in 2017). Not only did I share this “policy” with staff but also communicated it with our congregation at a Sunday night vision and prayer meeting.
TWC’s “No They” Policy
The concept comes from author Larry Osborne who writes:
Leadership-oriented teams don’t succumb to the tyranny of the “theys.”
When I came to North Coast, our board leaned heavily to the representative side of the scale. As a result, whenever we dealt with a controversial issue, we spent a great deal of time discussing an apparently large and influential group of people known as “they.”
No one seemed to know who they were, and those who did seem to know weren’t too keen on identifying them. But boy, did they have clout. It seemed to me that they were the largest power block in the church.
As a result, before making decisions, we spent hours worrying how “they” might respond. And afterward, we second-guessed ourselves whenever someone reported, “I’ve been talking to some people about this, and they have some real concerns.”
To make matters worse, I could never find out who “they” were, or how many of them there were. It was strange. For a group as large and powerful as “they” appeared to be, they sure valued their anonymity.
Finally, I’d had enough. I told the board that as far as I was concerned, the “theys” no longer existed. I’d happily listen to comments and critiques from people with real names and faces. But nebulous theys who didn’t want their identity known and hypothetical theys we couldn’t identify would no longer have any sway.
The board agreed. So we instituted a “no theys” rule. It immediately pulled the rug out from underneath the biggest group of resisters we had and eventually exposed them to be a tiny minority (and at times, a mere figment of our imagination).
Our “no theys” rule applies not only to the board; it also applies to every staff meeting and to all of my dealings with the congregation. Now whenever someone says that they’ve been talking to some people who have a concern, I always ask, “Who are they?”
If I’m told that they wouldn’t be comfortable having their names mentioned, I respond, “That’s too bad, because I’m not comfortable listening to anonymous sources. Let me know when they’re willing to be identified. I’ll be happy to listen.”
~ Larry Osborne
~Instituted by Pastor Jason Carter | 2017
Several principles stand-out in our No “They” Policy:
(1) We covenant not to speak on behalf of “people” or “they” who disagree with the leadership of the church. I will instead choose to speak for myself.
(2) We covenant to handle conflict face-to-face, following Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18:15.
(3) We covenant not to gossip or empower gossipers (Eph. 4:29; 1 Tim 5:13).
(4) We covenant to remember that the Teaching Elders & the Ruling Elders in the Presbyterian church are called by the congregation to lead our church on mission not simply to manage the status quo.
Therefore, I covenant to embrace change as an inevitable part of being at Trinity Wellsprings Church and its ongoing mission. (“Groups are hardwired to believe that survival usually means reinforcing the way things have always been.” ~ Tod Bolsinger.)
Change is hard. Change is inevitable. When churches are faced with seasons of change, a “No They Policy” can be a helpful reminder for navigating the inevitable changes that confront any organization as it seeks to stay on mission.