To download a PDF of Leadership Culture Principle #1: The “No They” Policy, click here.

My first sermon series at Trinity Wellsprings Church was entitled “Pillars of Ministry”, a seven-week window into several themes that I hoped would define my pastoral leadership at my new church home:  

• The Simple Biblical Gospel: What is our foundation?

• Prayer: How do we connect with God?

• Servant Leadership: How shall we lead?

• Discipleship: What is the goal of the Christian life?

• Community:  Who are we?

• Mission:  What is the point of community?

• The Word of God: What is our authority?

You might notice that attention was paid to the question: “How shall we lead?” as I recognized TWC needed to adopt a new leadership culture for our church to thrive.

During my first few months at Trinity, one building block that I sought to lay within the heart of our leadership culture was what I called TWC’s No “They” Policy (which I informally instituted in 2017).  Not only did I share this “policy” with staff but also communicated it with our congregation at a Sunday night vision and prayer meeting.

TWC’s “No They” Policy

The concept comes from author Larry Osborne who writes:

Leadership-oriented teams don’t succumb to the tyranny of the “theys.”

When I came to North Coast, our board leaned heavily to the representative side of the scale. As a result, whenever we dealt with a controversial issue, we spent a great deal of time discussing an apparently large and influential group of people known as “they.”

No one seemed to know who they were, and those who did seem to know weren’t too keen on identifying them. But boy, did they have clout. It seemed to me that they were the largest power block in the church.

As a result, before making decisions, we spent hours worrying how “they” might respond. And afterward, we second-guessed ourselves whenever someone reported, “I’ve been talking to some people about this, and they have some real concerns.”

To make matters worse, I could never find out who “they” were, or how many of them there were. It was strange. For a group as large and powerful as “they” appeared to be, they sure valued their anonymity.

Finally, I’d had enough. I told the board that as far as I was concerned, the “theys” no longer existed. I’d happily listen to comments and critiques from people with real names and faces. But nebulous theys who didn’t want their identity known and hypothetical theys we couldn’t identify would no longer have any sway.

The board agreed. So we instituted a “no theys” rule. It immediately pulled the rug out from underneath the biggest group of resisters we had and eventually exposed them to be a tiny minority (and at times, a mere figment of our imagination).

Our “no theys” rule applies not only to the board; it also applies to every staff meeting and to all of my dealings with the congregation. Now whenever someone says that they’ve been talking to some people who have a concern, I always ask, “Who are they?”

If I’m told that they wouldn’t be comfortable having their names mentioned, I respond, “That’s too bad, because I’m not comfortable listening to anonymous sources. Let me know when they’re willing to be identified. I’ll be happy to listen.”

~ Larry Osborne

 ~Instituted by Pastor Jason Carter | 2017

Several principles stand-out in our No “They” Policy:

(1)   We covenant not to speak on behalf of “people” or “they” who disagree with the leadership of the church. I will instead choose to speak for myself.

 (2)   We covenant to handle conflict face-to-face, following Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 18:15-20. We will avoid using email during our own heated moments or for potentially conflictual matters. Email is one of the worst communication inventions ever created in the history of the planet for being misunderstood. Face-to-face is always better than blasting off an email, especially to an entire group.

 (3)   We covenant not to gossip or empower gossipers (Eph. 4:29; 1 Tim 5:13). In the church, we long to use our tongues for “building up” (Eph 4:29) rather than tearing down others by engaging in gossip.

 (4)   We covenant to remember that the Teaching Elders & the Ruling Elders in the Presbyterian church are called by the congregation to lead our church on mission not simply to manage the status quo.

Therefore, I covenant to embrace change as an inevitable part of being at Trinity Wellsprings Church and its ongoing mission. (“Groups are hardwired to believe that survival usually means reinforcing the way things have always been.” ~ Tod Bolsinger.)

Change is hard. Change is inevitable.  When churches are faced with seasons of change, a “No They Policy” can be a helpful reminder for navigating the inevitable changes that confront any organization as it seeks to stay on mission. 

A Sermon Recommendation:

How do you cultivate a Christ-centered home? You raise kids who know ONE GREAT TRUTH from the inside out — a truth worth living and dying for. Family devotions at the Carters recently included listening to this sermon by John Piper from the Passion Conference One Day in 2000. It’s a clarion call to “not waste your life” but rather “boast only in the cross”.

I’d recommend Christian families listen to this message with their children (best for ages 10+ and certainly great for teenagers; we listened to the audio around the table). It’s also a great reminder to everyone — young and old — to live your life for the glory of God. As pioneer missionary C.T. Studd once stated, “Only one life, ’twill soon be past; Only what’s done for Christ will last.”

A Recommended Podcast Episode (For the 4th of July Weekend):

Many of our present controversies in America revolve around how we tell the story and meaning of America. Is America — at its core — rooted in injustice and racism? This is how some now prefer to tell the story of America. Others tell the story of America as a Christian nation from its famous Puritan inception, a moral beacon of light in a dark world, “A City on a Hill” to use John Winthrop’s famous expression.

Previous generations (esp. the WWII generation) would have found the question itself repugnant. Why would Americans ever need to take exception to American Exceptionalism? Yet today the question is a clear nexus around which multiple controversies swirl: has America been a champion of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, even despite the horrors of the African slave trade, the Trail of Tears, & the Japanese Internment Camps, a unique modern story of democracy worth celebrating and enjoying?

In our current day, much of our national dialogue is spinning around our history. How do we tell the story and meaning of America?

Let me recommend the “Life and Books and Everything” (hosted by TGC’s Kevin DeYoung) episode entitled “The Meaning of America”.

DeYoung offers some great perspectives on how we tell the story of America (which might also be helpful for parents to pass on the insights to their children).

A Recommended Blog Post:

Finally, let me recommend “Parents, Take Note of the Spiritual Practices Common in Kids who Flourish as Adults” from TGC’s Trevin Wax. The post is a helpful reminder that (1) families and parents shape the spiritual journeys of kids way more than any church, school, or youth group ever could, and (2) be sure your own household is encouraging these spiritual practices of your own children beginning at a young age.

Are we primarily raising kids to be successful in life and thus putting the majority of our time and energy around helping our children with worldly pursuits?

Or, are we primarily concerned for the spiritual flourishing and spiritual nurture of the children that God has given us?

It’s a stark question. As it should be.

You are invited to read Part 1 first. Here are five more sermonic tidbits lifted from the series When Life Hurts: The Story of Job.

1.     Job teaches us about the Sanity of Tears.

Job cries for God’s justice in the face of extreme and grave injustice. 

Job cries for God’s presence when he experiences the hiddenness of God.

Job cries for God’s voice when he experiences the silence of God.   

Has Job gone mad?

Has he? Or do our lack of tears implicate our own callousness to the injustices of our world and all the ways we normalize our own spiritual apathy to the things of God?

• Oh, that we would cry for God’s presence.

• Oh that we would cry to hear God’s voice….the way Job did. 

When was the last time that I wept and cried because of my sin before a perfect and holy and loving God? Is spiritual growth to be measured only by the temperature of my joy....is it not also to be measured by the depth of my sorrow over my sin? 

2.     What Job faintly hoped for, we experience the reality

“If only there were someone to mediate between us, someone to bring us together.” (Job 9:33; “I know my redeemer lives…Job 19:25-27)

What Job longed for, what Job hoped for, what Job cried out for, we experience in reality.

Job saw the shadows, we see the light. 

A mediator is one who Receives our Sentence, Removes our Sin, and Represents the Sinner -- bringing us To God. 

Christ as the Mediator is the one who (1) Receives our Sentence, (2) Removes our Sin, and (3) Represents us before God, thereby reconciling us to God.

• What Job saw in the shadows, we experience in reality. 

In Job 16:19, Job cries out: “Even now, behold, my witness is in heaven.  And he who testifies for me is on high.”

Job knows there is no earthly witness who could come to his defense.  Job wants a defender that will testify to his blamelessness and righteousness before God. 

Job’s hope builds from Job 9 – to Job 16 and to a crescendo at Job 19 where Job says:  “I know that my Redeemer lives”. 

Christ walks in the book of Job.  And Christ as the Mediator doesn’t walk faintly and in the shadows of your life but walks boldly and powerfully as your Mediator between your great sin and God’s great holiness.

Here is the good news: What Job experienced faintly and in the shadows, we experience in reality. Christ is our mediator! Christ is our witness in heaven! Christ is our Redeemer!  Hallelujah!   

3.     Theology: Know When To Employ It

Complete these phrases:

• Cause…..and Effect

• To every action there is always…an opposite and equal reaction.

• What goes up…must come down.

In a nutshell, this is the theology of Job’s friends.

Job’s friends live by the motto that every spiritual effect has a spiritual cause. Every spiritual action has an opposite and equal spiritual reaction.

Or, if you want to get more theological, this is called the doctrine of retribution. 

• The Doctrine of Retribution: A legalistic and simplified reading of Torah in which linkages between deed and consequence become frozen into absolute principle.[1]

The doctrine of retribution feels like it could be good advice -- in the abstract -- but the fault is that these abstractions make no sense in the particular case of Job.  Job’s friends should have been using a ball-point hammer, instead they take a sledge hammer to the case. And destruction ensues. 

You not only have to know the right theology, but also when to employ it.

4.     The Logic of retribution confuses the Law of Linearity with the Principle of Influence.

Many Christian parents have stumbled over these words:  “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Prov. 22:6).   

“Ahh....the law of linearity…all I have to do is A, and I’m going to get B! It’s the Law of Linearity and it’s in God’s word!”

This is the cause and effect mentality of retribution (but with a positive spin).  Yet, have you ever noticed that really bad parents sometimes have really good kids? And that good parents sometimes have kids who do terrible things? 

That’s because there is a difference between the wisdom principle of influence and the cause and effect logic of retribution.

The Spiritual principle of influence says: 100 parents who love God and train their child well, will raise a greater number of responsible children than a 100 selfish-uninvolved parents.  That’s influence.

But a “Cause and Effect Christianity” is no Christianity at all! A cause and effect Christianity where I am in control is completely devoid of grace, completely devoid of mystery, incapable of real prayer (because you’re still in control!)  and completely at odds with surrendering your will to another because you still hold onto the illusion of control. 

The Law of Linearity actually takes God out of the equation! Because you don’t need to relate to God – you just have to apply some of his principles.  And the main focus is upon making life work  rather than enjoying and glorifying God for who God is. 

The logic of retribution puts God at arm’s length, but Job is not satisfied with the advice.[2]

5.     An Open Posture to God in the Midst of Suffering

What I’m saying is that in the midst of my suffering, that I should  have an open posture to God’s deepening and sanctifying process in and through the trial. 

However, that’s different than saying that it’s your job to figure out precisely what God is doing, each little lesson he is trying to teach you at each little juncture of your life. 

Some of these things that go on in my life have their cause in the heavenly court, just like they did for Job (they happen above my head).  I’m just feeling the effect of a cause I can’t see.  It’s not my job to always know and figure out the Cause.  If you can, good.  If you can’t—fine.

But there is a Job-type of abandonment to God, a posture of openness to God’s deepening and sanctifying process….even when I don’t know the cause.

Did you know that God loves and delights to work in the dark night of the soul – whatever name that may be for you?

Why?  Because God loves and delights to work in the cross. 

So don’t miss your cross.  Golgotha ain’t  pretty, but it sure does redeem. 

6.     BONUS:  Suffering and Resurrection

Did you ever notice that when you read the apostle Paul: Paul is a resurrection guy!  He loves the resurrection. He glories in the resurrection.  He lives in the power of the resurrection.  So what does he do with suffering?  He pleads with God to resurrect the suffering in his life – to take away his thorn in his flesh!

• Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this that it should leave me. (2 Cor. 12:8)

Yet Jesus doesn’t answer the prayer. Why?  It’s a big question.  Yet in this case, Paul knows why: “So to keep me from becoming conceited…a thorn was given to me in the flesh” (2 Cor. 12:7)  So Paul understands a truth with profound implications: God is going to use evil outside of him (the thorn) in his life to deliver Paul from the evil inside of him (the conceit and pride in his heart).   

Do you understand how wise and good and loving God is?  God is going to use the suffering and evil that comes upon Paul’s life (the thorn in the flesh) to deal with the sin in Paul’s life (his conceit and pride).

Suffering/evil comes upon Paul’s life, God uses it in Paul’s life.

***

[1] Susannah Ticciati, Job and the Disruption of Identity: Reading Beyond Barth.

[2] For more development on this theme, read Larry Crabb’s great book The Pressure’s Off. 

Read this blog post entitled “The Enduring Value of a Long Sermon Series” at the Reformation 21 website.

*****

But Pastor…Why Preach a Longer Sermon Series on the Book of Job?

(1)   Spiritual gains take place during hard seasons of suffering.

All the giants of the Christian faith testify that it is precisely in the dark night of the soul and in seasons of suffering that God transforms our lives and produces lasting fruit that lasts unto eternity.

As C.S. Lewis so eloquently put it, “Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

(2)   Everyone suffers. Either now or later, you will suffer.

The apostle Peter counsels, “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12). Peter’s admonition seems to imply that Christians should “ready themselves” for the day when suffering arrives on their doorstep.

Yet, truth be told, American Christians are last in the entire known world for knowing how to suffer in steadfast faith and with resolute hope as Christians.

We are some of the least resilient and fiercest complaining Christians on the planet. If any group of Christians on earth needs to hear the message of Job, it is American Christians who, relative to the rest of the world, live in the lap of luxury, convenience, and comfort.

(3)   Suffering is a problem that won’t go away for the Christian.

The British novelist Muriel Spark once argued that the problem of Job is “the only problem, in fact, worth discussing”. Suffering is often called “the bedrock of atheism”, the quintessential thorn in the flesh of Christianity.

If we truly want to model a faithful witness to Jesus Christ, we need do it both intellectually and personally. Intellectually, we need to be prepared for the apologetic question of suffering (i.e. “Why does a good God allow horrendous evil in our world?”). Personally, we need to be able to tell our story authentically, without leaving out the hard parts of our lives. In other words, we need to be able to share where God has met us in the broken places of our lives.

Today in America, we need less human-centered preachers of self-empowerment and more preachers heralding the hard edges of our faith for the good of our witness and for the health of our churches.

Here are five sermonic tidbits lifted from the series When Life Hurts: The Story of Job:

1.    The Purpose of Suffering and Our Thirst for God Alone

So what am I suggesting about the nature of suffering and the book of Job?  It’s this:

The purpose of suffering is to awaken our Spirit-implanted thirst for God alone. Suffering’s main purpose is to give you a deeper thirst for first things.  To bring us to a place of deep detachment to second things, to the place where the passions of the heart have nowhere else to go.[1]

The purpose of suffering is to awaken my thirst for first things and detach me from second things.

Don’t you see that worked out in the life of Job? 

He went straight away to God in the dark night of the soul.  His thirst to see God, to meet with God, to dialogue with, and yes, even to accuse God is passionate, powerful, and prolonged. 

It’s this cultivation of a deeper thirst for God in our suffering that we take away from Job’s faith.

“If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” ~ C.S. Lewis.

Friends, what sustains you in your pursuit of God?  It’s not the blessings of God!  It’s not even (as many Christians think in today’s world) a felt experience of the presence of God.  More than the blessings of God and more than the felt experiences of God, what sustains me in my pursuit of God is a thirst for God and God alone.

This is what God longs to do in suffering. 

2.     Fearing God “For Naught” & The Habit of Worship

“God is not nice. God is not an uncle. God is an earthquake.” ~ Abraham Heschel

The first bit of evidence that Job fears God for naught (Job 1:9) is that Job worships even when he experiences God as an earthquake. 

Job worships.  Yet: it’s not any old worship! It is clear to us that Job had formed a habit of worship. 

• Deep ruts had been formed in the heart & soul of Job that connected him with God.  And those deep ruts were ruts of worship! Those deep ruts were the language of worship:

• Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head and fell on the ground and worshipped (Job 1:20).

Worship was Job’s initial response.  His spontaneous response – surprisingly enough – to deep suffering & painful trails. How does that happen?

That only happens because Job had first cultivated what the Latins called a habitus ­(a habit) of worship. 

“For we know that under such desperate circumstances worship does not come to a person naturally or spontaneously, but rather it is a practiced response, a fruit of long faith and discipline. Job could never have reacted as he did unless he had been practicing for this moment all of his life.” ~ Mike Mason

Job had cultivated a habit of worship.  Worship became second nature to him.  Worship became his heart language. The way he expressed his deepest longings.  The way he delighted to express his heart. So when faced with incredible trials, the rut of worship to God had already been carved out in his heart and in his soul.

Are you developing this habitus of worship in your daily life?

3.     You have no earthly rights.

Job recognized this: Naked I came from my mother’s womb, naked I shall return (Job 1:21).

We love to maintain the mirage & illusion of control over our lives.  We love the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley.  You know the poem because it ends: “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” 

The Book of Job tells you a different story. The book of Job tells you that some of the most impactful things that happen in your life are totally and completely out of your control. 

• The cancer that surprises you. 

• The unexpected death that strikes suddenly.

• The loss of a job or a relationship – that you would have kept.

All these teach us the same lesson that Job had already learned: The believer has no earthly rights. 

Remember the question God asked a sulking Jonah:  “Have you any right to be angry?”  (Jonah 4:4)

One writer puts it like this:  “We Christians are people who know in our bones that we never had any right to be created in the first place, let alone redeemed.”  [Our creation was a gift of God, not a right! And our redemption was a gift of God, not our right!]  “We know we have no more inherent title to life and its goodness than a dead man has.”   “When Adam discovered he was naked, he hid from the Lord. But when Job was faced with his nakedness, he worshipped, and this is what sets the fallen man apart from the redeemed man.” ~ Mike Mason

Job feared God for naught because he had already renounced all his earthly rights.

4.     Praying with a Limp: Job’s Lament and Cursing the Day of his Birth

In Job 3 we find one of the most famous laments in all of scripture.  

For seven days and seven nights, Job has been enveloped in a cacoon of silence. His friends didn’t speak to him because they saw that his suffering was very great (Job 2:13).

How do you pray with a limp? 

In God’s graciousness to suffers, God has already given sufferers like Job a gift – a way to pray with a limp. In the Hebrew tradition, it’s called the prayer of lament.

• During times of suffering and trials, normal modes of speech will not do. 

• During times of suffering and trials, normal prayers won’t do.

So God graciously gives to his people the prayer of lament. A biblically sanctioned way to express your deepest hurts, your deepest disappointments, and your deepest sorrows before the Lord. 

Dorothee Soelle writes, “The first step towards overcoming suffering…is to find a language that leads out of the uncomprehended suffering that makes one mute.” 

The first step out of suffering is to find a language, and God has already graciously given you the language of lament.

The prayer of lament is the first act of grace from God to sufferers who undergo trials and pain.

5. First Things and Second Things

Maybe the challenge of the whole Christian life is to keep first things first and second things second. Do you understand this truth?  That God is so committed to me putting first things first and second things second, that He’s willing to take away some of the second things in my life until I get it.

Remember what Jesus said:  “Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things [all these second things] will be added onto you” (Matt 6:33).  The Book of Job tells us that even when they aren’t added or taken away for a time or perhaps even permanently:  the expectation that God has – the very deep longing in the heart of God –  is for us to keep first things first and second things second.

*****

[1] An assist from Larry Crabb here.

Paul David Tripp in the video below asks an important question many Christians have asked during this global pandemic: “What’s the Point of Going to Church?”

Hebrews 10:24-25: "And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

Let me share with you Peter Adam’s 10 Reasons Why You Need to Belong to a Church:

1. Because you need the regular support and encouragement of Christian fellowship.

The Christian life is not designed to be lived in isolation, and those who try it that way are likely to crash! (see Hebrews 10:25).

2. Because fellowship provided by Christian friends is no substitute for belonging to a church.

You choose your friends because their ideas and style are similar to your own. God puts different people in a congregation so they can learn from each other  (see Titus 2:1-10).

3. Because gifts can only rightly be used by someone who is a member of a congregation.

Gifts are primarily for the congregation, not for the individual and are rightly used to build up the church. The picture of a church as a body tells us that our various gifts complement each other. You don’t see a foot or an eye wandering around by itself! (see 1 Corinthians 12).

4. Because God’s basic unit is the church, not the individual.

The story of the Bible is that of God making, shaping and refining his people—beginning with Abraham. The lives of individuals like David, Isaiah, the Disciples, and Paul have their meaning because they are part of God’s continuous community. This pattern has tasted c.4,000 years and there are no signs that God has changed it (see Genesis 12:1-3; 15:1-6; Romans 4).

5. Because you are not paying the price of being a Christian.

The ‘solo flight’ is a very attractive style of Christianity for some, but it evades a basic element: the cost of Discipleship. Jesus called his followers to serve their community of faith … to be ‘slaves of all’ (see Mark 10:35-45).

6. Because you cannot understand the New Testament properly unless you belong to a church.

Most of the New Testament is addressed to churches. If you only read the Bible privately, then you will not be in the right place to hear God’s word. You will ‘privatise’ its message, and so misunderstand it (see most of Paul’s letters).

7. Because basic maturity in faith and knowledge is only found in the church.

The Bible clearly teaches that immaturity is found in those who cannot cope with the church ‘system’ (Titus 1:5; 3:10), and that maturity and fullness of faith is a corporate experience of the Christian community (Ephesians 3:14-21; 4:13-16).

8. Because sharing in Baptism and the Lord’s Supper is basic to Christian obedience.

We share in these sacraments because of the command of Christ. They are not private rites but corporate actions of the body of Christ. A ‘grab-and-run’ approach is wrong; sharing in them means belonging to a church (see 1 Corinthians 10:16; 11:17-34; 12:13).

9. Because submitting to Christian leadership is integral to New Testament Christianity.

‘Going-it-alone’ is okay in the short term, but eventually we err if we imagine that we do not need structures and human authority. God’s provision of order and authority in the church is his realistic way of helping us (see Hebrews 13:17; Titus 1:5).

10. Because fellowship-groups, evangelism teams, Christian societies are no substitute for churches.

Special groups and teams are more exciting than churches because they attract people of similar aims, Ideas and abilities. They do good work but are not the same as churches, because they are limited in membership and task-oriented. Churches have to accept everyone, gifted or not, and so they more accurately reflect God’s free grace.

See also:

What’s So Special About Church?

“If we want to experience more of Christ’s presence, we must go to church. There, he is with us by his Spirit. There, he ministers to us by his appointed pastors and elders (Eph. 4:11-13). There, he displays his gifts and graces in his body (1 Cor. 12:12-13). There, he brings us into the loving circle of his family (Matt 12:49). There, he welcomes us at his table and nourishes us with his own body (1 Cor. 11:24). There, in the church — and only in the church! - we experience all the fullness of Christ (Eph. 4:13).”

Why You Should Go to Church Even When You Don’t Feel Like It

If “I am a Christian but I don’t need the church” was a photo.

“Friends, do you realize how vital it is to gather here together on the Lord’s Day, Sunday after Sunday? Satan loves to isolate us. This is a killer!”

“You’re here today — but your presence here today is not just for today. It’s for five years from now. Twenty years from now. It’s for a time when you may find yourself alone in a cancer ward…or alone at home, in the middle of the night, after you’ve buried your loved one in the ground….Through all these ordinary means of grace, God is weaving a tapestry of remembrance to sustain you in the days to come.”

“Your attendance in worship, your participation in baptism and the Lord’s Supper and confession and praise and thanksgiving and singing and intercession and hearing the preaching of God’s Word - it’s all being woven together by sovereign grace.”