To download a PDF of Leadership Culture Article #5: “Email Matters: 15 Questions | How Shall we Utilize Email in our Leadership Culture to the Glory of God? click here.

Based on my experience of pastoral ministry, I can tell you that about 85-90% of all church conflict over the last seven years at Trinity has its roots in unhealthy communication via email. Through discussions with other pastors, Trinity is hardly unique in this regard! Rather, this is a common trait in the life of the contemporary western church which begs us to reflect upon an important leadership question: how do leaders and covenant partners in the body of Christ steward well the use of email in the church leadership space to the glory of God?

Here are fifteen questions to ask yourself before blasting off an email:

1.     Are you seeking to address conflict in the church biblically according to Jesus’ counsel in Matthew 18:15-20? (Go ahead and read the passage. Then seek to apply the wisdom of Jesus before writing an angry email!)

 2.     Have you talked to the person face-to-face before blasting an email to the entire group? (Again, Jesus is full of wisdom in Matthew 18!)

 3.     Does this email have the chance to be misunderstood? Then it’s either a short phone call or a sit-down meeting. (Email communication is the one of the poorest forms of communication ever invented on planet earth and is often misunderstood. There is no tone involved. There is no direct eye contact. There is no embodied presence. Gentle, heartfelt, gracious language in an email frequently misses the mark or gets completely overlooked or easily overshadowed.)

4.     BIG & IMPORTANT: Are you about to write the email in anger? (In my years of ministry, I have never seen anger move a discussion forward in a healthy manner, especially misunderstandings involving interpersonal relationships.)

5.     Have you sat on the email for at least 24-48 hours and still think it is prudent and wise to send the email? (Abraham Lincoln made it a common practice to write a letter and never to send it. You might want to channel your inner Abraham Lincoln before pressing “send”).

6.     Are you attempting to rally multiple people to your side or point of view? (A common feature of unhealthy emails are ones which include a bunch of people in the CC lines, a direct contradiction of Jesus’ wisdom in Matthew 18:15-20. Healthy conflict seeks to engage the least number of people possible and/or only the people with the power to directly impact the decision-making process.) 

7.     Is this a “just getting things off my chest email?” (Wisdom will tell you that every emotion and every perspective does not always merit to be shared.)

8.     Is this a “I’m going to give you a piece of my mind email”? (The problem is this: send too many of those emails and you start losing marbles all over the place.)

9.     BIG & IMPORTANT: Does this email feel like “walking in the flesh” or “walking in the Spirit”? (Online communication easily devolves into the former rather than the latter. Read Galatians 5:16-26. Does your email promote the fruit of the Spirit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Or does the email feel like it’s out for a walk with the flesh in the hot afternoon in promoting enmity, strife, fits of anger, dissensions, and division in the church?)  

10.  Am I garnering a reputation for being a complainer? (Every church has these folks. Self-reflection may entail asking the hard question: “Am I one of them?”)

11.  Am I garnering a reputation for being divisive or angry? (Every church has these folks. Self-reflection may entail asking the hard question: “Am I one of them?”)

12.  Am I making “my preferences” and “my tastes” the mark of how the church should be led and governed? (Can reasonable Christians come to differing conclusions about the topic? If so, make sure you are not embodying the temptation towards consumerism – “it’s about my preferences!” | “it’s about my opinions!” – which exists as a parasite and a plague upon the Church in the modern era.)

13.  Does this email reflect well on my character and my witness to Jesus? (Does my email display “the best” of who I am? Would I choose to say this with gentleness and love to the recipient?)

14.  After having prayerfully read Matthew 18:15-20, ask yourself: Is there a sin issue involved where Galatians 6:1 and Matthew 18:15-20 would biblically come into play? (That’s definitely a conversation!) Or, if there is no sin issue involved, is this a “bear with one another in love” kind of scenario? (Read Eph. 4:2 and Col. 3:13).

15.  BIG & IMPORTANT: Does this email promote the peace, purity, and unity of the Church? (This is a vow that every Covenant Partner and every ordained officer - pastor, elder, deacon - in the body of Christ makes before God and before this congregation:

Every Covenant Partner: Do you promise, by word and deed, to be faithful in maintaining the truth of the Gospel and the peace, purity, and unity of the Church?

For Every Pastor/Elder/Deacon: Do you promise to be faithful in maintaining the truth of the Gospel and the peace, purity, and unity of the Church?

Disrupting the peace, purity, and unity of the Church is a significant charge and one to take seriously before you hit “send” and before you begin engaging in enmity, strife, anger, and division within the body of Christ either online or in person.)

The church is, after all, Christ’s body for which he died.

What the Sabbath is NOT:

Sabbath is not simply “a day off”.

As Eugene Peterson once remarked, “A ‘day off’ is a bastardization of Sabbath-keeping.“

Sabbath is not solitude and silence.

Those are distinct spiritual disciplines. The Sabbath might include those elements but cannot be reduced to them.

The Sabbath is not a private affair.

Family, friends, and the family of God can and should be involved.

The Sabbath is not a solemn affair.

Traditionally, there was no fasting on the Sabbath day. The Sabbath is worth celebrating - break out a bountiful table, eat succulent food, laugh & play with friends and family.

The Sabbath: What is it?

Sabbath is ceasing, celebrating, and communing with God in community.

• Ceasing…from work

Your pattern of work and rest is embedded in creation. This is who you were created to be.

• Celebrating…your redemption

You are not a slave to work nor the inner compulsions that drive you towards non-stop production; the Sabbath is a day to celebrate your freedom. You were liberated! You were redeemed! By Christ! You celebrate those realities in your life! You celebrate freedom, life, creation, your humanity, and the goodness of God on the Sabbath.

• Communion…with God

“Come to me,” says the gentle and lowly Christ. This is a gentle invitation is to find rest for your souls as you commune with God.

• In Community

Sabbath is not an individualistic pursuit but rather a communal endeavor. Celebrate the Sabbath with the family of God as well as your own family and friends.

“Because we do not rest, we lose our way.” (Wayne Muller) Try this self-evaluative diagnostic: “10 Symptoms of Hurry Sickness”.

Are you being drawn to a new rhythm of life? An ancient practice that is being re-discovered in the modern era?

“Remember the Sabbath” (Ex. 20:8).

I’ve developed two resources entitled: “Sabbath as Resistance”.

Sabbath as Resistance: A Six-Lesson Study Guide for Individuals or Groups

The Study Guide consists of six lessons to promote conversation (in groups) or contemplation (for individuals).  Each lesson covers a portion of scripture, covers a “bid idea” for the lesson, and provides engaging instructional questions.

Sabbath as Resistance: A Reading Guide

A Reading Guide represents a collated “best of the best” chapters from authors such as Ruth Haley Barton, John Mark Comer, Walter Bruggemann, A.J. Swoboda. In each lesson, participants can read a very manageable 15 pages per lesson.

Marriage and Our Culture: The best 1 hour, 43 minutes available online on the meaning of marriage, I dare say, come from Tim and Kathy Keller here.  So many transformative thoughts and practical counsel for transforming your marriage this summer. Enjoy!

What about Forgiveness when the Offender doesn’t Repent? Some helpful thoughts (on a difficult topic) about what to do when you’ve been wronged, hurt, and sinned against yet the person has not (or will not) repent of the sin. 

Why I never recommend Jesus Calling by Sarah Young This is (probably) controversial for some people who make Jesus Calling a regular part of their devotional lives. Yet, I have issues with Jesus Calling, as it undercuts, I believe, the sufficiency of Scripture. Is scripture really “enough” for our lives or do we need “extra words” from Jesus coming through the pen of Sarah Young? If you read Jesus Calling, I encourage you to read the reviews of the book by Tim Challies here and here which express these concerns winsomely yet clearly.

For instance, the January 8th “words from Jesus” sounds like, to me, a very far cry from the biblical Jesus:

Softly I announce my Presence. Shimmering hues of radiance tap gently at your consciousness, seeking entrance. Though I have all Power in heaven and on earth, I am infinitely tender with you. The weaker you are, the more gently I approach you. Let your weakness by a door to My Presence. Whenever you feel inadequate, remember that I am your ever-present Help.

Simply put, that’s not the biblical Jesus that I know. It doesn’t seem like the way Jesus spoke. Tim Challies writes that many of the devotions that supposedly come from Jesus sound more like a middle age woman offering you therapy than the real Jesus. Reader: Beware. Beware of a “21st century therapeutic Jesus” masquerading as the biblical Jesus. Simply put, why not read the Psalms instead of Jesus Calling? The Bible truly is enough for our lives of faith, for our sufferings and difficulties, and for our daily encouragement as we go through life.

What devotional books do I recommend? Three good devotional books:

1.  Tim Keller’s excellent daily devotional on the Book of Proverbs: God's Wisdom for Navigating Life: A Year of Daily Devotions in the Book of Proverbs

2.  New Morning Mercies by Paul David Tripp.

3. Daily Doctrine by Kevin DeYoung.

A profound statement recently stopped me in my tracks: “A mature Christian is easily edified.”

This is, I believe, a proper and fitting goal of our Christian discipleship.

Because far too often, don’t you find yourself being:

• too easily offended (by others)

• too easily distracted (by technology)

• too easily frustrated (by the demands of the day)

• too easily stressed out (by the busyness of life)

• too easily irritated (by your family)

What exactly would a believer’s life look like who is “easily edified’?

A believer who is “easily edified” would be falling more in love with Jesus, amazed by the grace and mercy of God. “God has been so faithful to me!”

A believer who is “easily edified” would experience the full repertoire of “psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs” (Eph. 5:19) as all avenues to worship: “God is so quickly praised and thanked in my life!”

A believer who is “easily edified” would drink deeply from the Scriptures from Genesis to Revelation: “The full counsel of God is like living water to my desert-like parched soul!”

“A mature Christian is easily edified.”

Yet, what is true for our individual lives of discipleship is also true for living in community as the body of Christ:

• The critical spirit who likes things “my way” in the church would slowly be choked out.

• The church consumerism in all of us would slowly be wrestled down to the ground. 

An “easily edified” community of Christ-followers would begin to say things like: “You know what? I can be blessed by whoever is preaching. I can encounter God through whatever songs we sing today and whoever is leading worship.”

“You know what? I’ve learned that even though I don’t agree with every decision of the church’s leadership, I am becoming more generous in my praise than in my complaints. In fact, I trust that the elders and staff are seeking the mind of Christ, and I’d want to be shown the same level of graciousness if I was in their shoes. In the end, I am purposely refraining from gossiping about my church’s faults and shortcomings and intentionally finding more ways to celebrate the faithfulness of God in my church.”

“A mature community of Christ-followers is easily edified.”

Guest Post: Rev. Kristian & Lydia Eikevik

Hey church, how are we doing with marriage? The Bible speaks from its first pages of a spiritual institution between man and woman, a sovereign calling and place of worship. It’s fallen into some disrepair since we got kicked out of the Garden, but it’s made holy again by the blood of Jesus. And the Spirit longs to breathe life into it. For better and worse, the church always cooks in the pot of culture— and that culture disciples us every day. But praise God, for the Scriptures that don't change and a King who wants to bring us back to Himself in repentance and reverence. Check out the fuller sermon notes below and do a heart check. Does our marital life line up with our Sunday worship? What do the people around us see and hear? And how do we speak of it among ourselves and to the next generation?

Check out the Sermon Brief from “God’s Design for Marriage”.

It has been argued by anthropologists that there are over 50+ words for “snow” used by the Eskimos. Snow is important to Eskimo culture and fundamental to live as a human in the arctic environment.

In a similar way, Simon Dunn recently taught about the fundamental aspect of our existence: we are made to worship God. That is a fundamental reason for our created existence and the telos of where we are headed in the New Heavens and New Earth.

In Revelation, John sees a majestic vision of praise around the throne of God: .

“Worthy are you, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created.” (Rev. 4:11)

In Ephesians, Paul indicates that we are to be about “the praise of his glory” (Eph. 1:12, see also Eph.1:6, 14).

Simon pointed out that, in the Old Testament, there are seven different words for “praise” with various nuances of meaning and connotations for our life of worship.

What snow is to the Eskimo so is praise to being human!

Let everything that has breathe praise the Lord! (Psalm 150:6)